Happy?
Miserable? It's Your Choice
For the last several days, I have continued to try to clean up a coffee
spill on my light grey carpet that happened during the holidays. Initially,
I found myself grumbling about the situation, but then realized I had
a choice as to how I felt about the stain. I could either continue to
be disturbed about it or I could look fondly back on the holiday memories
with family and how the stain actually got there. I decided that the memory
of sharing the time with family far outweighed the stain that continues
to disappear with every patting of cold water.
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Life is unfair.
Really, it is.
The thought might leave you feeling powerless, deflated, defeated.
Never fear though, you have a power mightier than anything life can throw
at you: the power of choice.
You can choose to react without thinking, you can choose to let something
eat at you, you can choose to become angry, you can choose to be miserable.
Or you can choose to stay calm, you can choose to take a breath and think
before reacting, you can choose to walk away, you can choose to look at
things positively, you can choose to find joy whenever you can.
Take a moment to think about all the things that weigh you down. Ultimately,
you have a choice whether you are going to let them affect you negatively
or positively.
Example #1, you're driving to work when someone cuts you off. They pull
up next to you, screaming that you were driving too slow and call you
a terrible name before driving off.
You have the choice to scream right back, get completely stressed out,
let it put you in a foul mood, and ruin your morning as you spend hours
ruminating over the incident. Meanwhile the guy calling you names has
forgotten all about it.
Or you can take a deep breath, choose not to react, let him scream and
yell as you drive off. You have chosen to remain calm, you have chosen
not to let something so trivial effect your entire mind and body, you
have chosen to walk (or drive) away.
Example #2- something a bit more tragic. You get dumped. You have every
right to feel sadness, anger, betrayal...the list goes on and on. There
are countless emotions you will go through and you need to feel every
one of them. Remember that choice is not denial. We have feelings and
we need to let ourselves sit with them.
But that doesn't mean we want to wallow in them. There will come a point
where you will choose to become negative, choose to feel sorry for yourself,
choose to mope around being miserable.
Or you can choose to move on, choose to look at the break-up as a positive
force for change in your life, choose to let your inner happiness and
self love shine through, choose to find someone else or not.
Choosing to be your own source of happiness and contentment is not easy.
You need to learn to not react to every conflict and that takes practice.
It also takes some getting to know yourself. You need to be able to step
outside your current situation and try to look at it from a different
perspective.
The best way to start to do this is through spending some time just sitting
alone, quietly, doing nothing but breathing, otherwise known as Meditation.
If you haven’t tried meditating before, just try to take 5 minutes
in the morning to sit and breath without distraction.
Then start to pay attention. There are countless moments during the course
of our lives where we can choose to make ourselves miserable or choose
to protect our contentment.
You create and take away your own happiness, no person or thing can do
that to you unless you let it.
It's your choice.
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Jo Anne's Journey - 2009-2010
December 1 – Reflexology Presentation @ the University Compounding Center
December 8 – The Big Talker Radio Show – Micheal Patrick
Shiels
To hear PodCast go to www.wjimam.com
Click on PodCast – MSP – December 8
January 9 – “In Her Shoes” with Shelly Davis-Mielak
and Tiffany Dowling
WJIM 1240 www.inhershoesradio.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sports Spouses - The Challenge of Being a Coach's Wife
Being a coach’s wife takes a special person. You automatically become the CEO of your household and family. You are the “glue” that holds it all together. When it’s time to move, you make all the arrangements. When it comes to dealing with the kids issues at school, you deal with the teachers. When it comes to soothing your spouse’s bruised ego after a loss, you’re the one who’s there for them.
When recently working with a group of coaches’ wives and asking the top three to five challenges of being a coach’s wife, the number one reason was loneliness followed by work/life balance, limited family time, lack of communication and dealing with change. Sound familiar?
Being a coach’s wife may be fulfilling enough for some women, but not for others. That certainly doesn’t mean that they don’t love their husbands or that they’re not supportive. It may just mean that they also need to be fulfilled as a person themselves. By working with a coach, women would have an opportunity to find out what it is that fulfills them. In addition, they can share experiences and build camaraderie.
Coaching is an opportunity for the wives to identify their own goals and issues, develop a plan for obtaining them and be held accountable.
For more information, log on to www.riseandshinetoday.com (Group Coaching) or contact Jo Anne Froelich, Personal and Professional Coach at 517-202-0553.
Rise and Shine Today monthly newsletter - January 2010
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